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If you’re reading this, you’re either an Asian American suffering from addiction, or, have a family member who is struggling. Let’s face it, it’s not easy talking about addiction recovery as an Asian American. It’s such a taboo topic. It may seem more normal and accepted in our culture to have a gambling problem, but, God forbid anyone…especially YOU having a drug addiction problem. At least on the bright side, you’re not living in another Asian country where the penalty for getting caught as an addict, is death. But, that still doesn’t make things any easier.
If your family doesn’t know already, and you’re still struggling…the fear of getting caught makes life hard to live. You can’t be yourself, because you’re living a double life. You don’t even know which person is the “real” you anymore. And also, the fear of 不要臉 “losing-face” and bringing shame to your family only fuels your addiction even more. You want out. But, you don’t even realize that one of the root causes of addiction, is shame. You have to get rid of shame, to begin the healing process. It may take you several tries to get it right. But remember, to keep trying. Expect people to judge you, give you their unsolicited opinions how they think a successful recovery can be achieved. You may need health professionals to get involved too, but, the reality is, only you know what’s best for you. Be selfish with your recovery. Meaning, put yourself first for a while until you get to a better and more stable lifestyle. If putting yourself first means that you can’t take any family member’s phone calls because it triggers a lot of emotions in you, don’t take that call. If putting yourself first means checking yourself into a facility even if that will put the burden on family to take care of your kids, do it!
Hopefully, you’ve already gotten past the fear of your family knowing about your addiction struggles and you’re well on your way on the road of recovery. There’s a saying in NA (Narcotics Anonymous) that you can’t save your face and your ass at the same time. So, friend, don’t worry about what your family thinks of you. Be proud of yourself for however many days you’ve woken up and chose a new life, a NEW and IMPROVED you. I know what it feels like to have your whole entire family put the pressures of their hopes and dreams on you, but, only for them to judge you for not carrying them out. They might say ignorant things like, “I would never do drugs, so, I don’t know how to help you” or “If only you quit sooner” as if, we woke up one day and decided to become addicted. It’s important not to take these things personal. People can’t understand what they’ve never experienced themselves. As much as you may be tempted to be hard on yourself and replay all of your past mistakes. Give yourself grace. Your experience has a very meaningful purpose. Believe me when I say, God has an individual, unique purpose for your life. Your mind can’t even imagine the things you are capable of achieving. Write down specific goals you have for yourself and keep moving forward one day at a time. You absolutely will get to your destination. And before you know it, your family and friends will start noticing the incredible difference in you!
For me, I didn’t even know a word of Spanish less than six months ago. Ahora? Sé mucho español. Todavía estoy aprendiendo. I also learned to make a super cute teddy bear baby blanket for a friend. And I took a CPS (Certified Peer Specialist) class to get my certification so I can start working as a recovery coach locally. I’m also still running my tutoring business, as well as launching my blog and coaching business here. All within my six months of recovery time. Now, you may be able to accomplish more, or less than myself. Whatever it is you want to accomplish, write it down somewhere and start working on it. One thing I learned during my earlier recovery phase is, action precedes motivation. So, even if you don’t feel like it, take action first, and the motivation will come later. And if taking easy instead of doing a bunch of things is what’s going to help you stay sober, do that. Don’t be hard on yourself for however long you want to take to get to your desired destination.
These are just some of the inexpensive things you can do to get your life back on the right track. And remember, don’t let the opinions, and fears of what others may think of you deter you from reaching your goals. Have the courage to stand alone, take the lead, and keep moving forward. Addiction recovery as an Asian American is not easy, but together, we can go beyond the possibilities. I’m here to help and support you, friend.
Please leave a comment and let me know you were here!
If you’d like to read some of my other posts, click below:
Don’t compare yourself with others, it will lead to your downfall.
https://painforpassion.com/?p=837
